The following was re-posted at FB, I do not have a link to the original source. But the very outrageousness of some of the suggestions at least provides some humor while, at the same time, actually provides some seeds for suggestions.
Mike Kupari
@RocketPulpHack
I have a bold proposal for the Ukraine situation, a grand compromise that will give the involved parties at least a little of what they want without complete capitulation.
We annex Ukraine. Just fucking take it. It’s America now, like Puerto Rico.
The Russians keep Crimea and Donbas, we get the rest. Chernobyl can be a theme park.
The war ends, so the worst part stops. America gets all of Ukraine’s minerals and whatever else by default. The Ukrainians get the permanent military protection and involvement in American domestic politics they’ve been pursuing.
The America First guys can’t complain because now Ukraine is America, and there’s nothing more Manifest Destiny than just claiming territory.
Rand Paul is happy because the “warmongering Ukrainians”will be brought under control.
The “I Stand With Ukraine” people get what they want, since they’ll be standing with Ukraine permanently.
All the politically connected cronies get to make a bazillion dollars on reconstruction. Blackrock got a seaport by the Panama Canal, now they one in Odessa, too.
Russia can’t even bitch that we annexed Ukraine. Like really Ivan? That’s not cool now? Crazy!
The very online, race obsessed weirdos will be happy because America gets an injection of white people and maybe some Azov Nazis.
The Russia hawks get what they want because we’ll have a permanent DMZ with Russia itself.
The so-called “realists” should be happy because we’re basically doing a Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact with Russia like they want.
We can leave NATO because we why even bother then? It can just be us and Poland.
The Ukrainian people will get immediate improvement in their civil liberties and eventual, drastic improvement in their standard of living.
The border hawks will be happy because there will definitely be a wall, a fence, an armed military presence, and maybe even land mines.
Gun guys will be happy with the fresh injection of Eastern European milsurp.
Trump wins because he makes peace AND adds territory to the United States.
There. I have solved the crisis of the day. You’re welcome. Please form an orderly line for high-fives.
2 comments
We would have to leave NATO or we would be putting NATO on Russia’s doorstep which they would find unacceptable and launch ICBMs (id they still work) our way.Other than that, WINNING!!!!
Sounds good. Not having to give NATO 2% of our GDP would go a long way to help Ukraine. Little man in tutu can be a governor. He wouldn’t be much worse than some of the governor’s we have right now. Â