Category: humor
Apr 04 2024
For The “Post-Humorists”
The Left is rabidly opposed to a huge fraction of our cultural heritage. Possibly all of it, really. Historical totalitarians have usually striven to destroy their subjects’ cultural memory. The contemporary Left is as totalitarian as any of its ideological predecessors. Why let it happen? Preserve what you can. Make sure your children …
Mar 24 2024
Questions For God
You might think that once we’re dead and in heaven, there are no more rules. But there’s still a need for discretion. Werner Heisenberg once said that if he got the chance, there were two questions he wanted to ask God: Why relativity? And why turbulence? They’re good questions – I’d certainly like the …
Mar 23 2024
Now For Something Lighthearted
Weird Dave asks us: My answer: Engelbert Humperdinck, “Please Release Me.” Yours?
Mar 02 2024
After An Awful Night
…something like this is what I need to return to the land of the living: Tech tip pic.twitter.com/mKGD336lWg — ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 1, 2024 I have absolutely no doubt that someone, somewhere thinks this is the right way to clean your laptop computer. And I find that strangely comforting.
Feb 25 2024
A Quick Appetite-Whetter
Shamelessly stolen from Western Rifle Shooters: I think we can all agree with the sentiment at the bottom. All of us white menfolk, that is. Never fear: I’ll be back with something more substantial a bit later.
Feb 13 2024
Warning!
If you live in a small town and have some degree of prominence, it is vital to be on good terms with the editor of the town’s newspaper. This is especially important if you and he are of different faiths. The following story will give you an inkling as to why. Father O’Malley, the …
Feb 13 2024
Conversations
It has come to my attention that an increasing number of media outlets don’t exactly “report the news,” as you and I would understand the practice. Rather, an editor will give a reporter an idea for an eye-catching story, prescribe the desired slant, and tell him to go forth and gather “facts.” The ever-widening …
Feb 09 2024
For The Clean Minded
Sometimes, the value of something from the Web lies in the memories it inspires: Like now: “They teach us to remember; why do they not teach us to forget?” – Francis A. Durivage, Nineteenth Century American magazine writer. “Beats the shit out of me.” – Francis W. Porretto, Curmudgeon Emeritus to …
Feb 07 2024
Evil: A Little Something To Lighten The Mood
[“Heavy” topics can be usefully leavened with humor, if the humorous material is relevant. Herewith, a piece I wrote back in 2010, about a distant culture with a…peculiar view of criminal self-indulgence. — FWP] The Scourge: A Report From Epsilon Eridani III Those boys over at NASA have not been idle. Oh, no, …
Feb 03 2024
Groundhog Day Backlash?
Seventy-two years now, and I still fail to understand how things become a big deal in our public discourse. “What’s the old bat talking about now?” I hear you mumble. For the first time in many a moon, I find that I must disagree with a Liberty’s Torch Co-Conspirator. Apparently, our beloved Ragin’ …
Feb 02 2024
Phooey on your modern made up holidays
I like ground hog! I’d even try groundhog if I could, but they’re a bit further East than I am.
Jan 18 2024
Humor And The Great Distribution
If you’ve kept in touch with sociopolitical trends these past few decades, you’ve surely noticed that the spokesmen of the Left are full of plans for “re-educating” us uncultured barbarians in the Right. There must be something wrong with us not to see things as they do, they “reason,” so once they’ve got sole …
Dec 24 2023
Things You Do Not Want To Hear Around Christmastime
1. On the phone: “Mr. Porretto, my name is John Smith, and I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.” 2. From your Significant Other: “There’s water seeping out from under the kitchen cabinets.” 3. From anyone, anywhere: “Say, doesn’t that guy look a lot like John McClane? Got any favorites of your …
Dec 21 2023
This Is Too Uplifting Not To Post
It’s been quite a few years since I last dated…thirty-two years, to be exact. So the vicissitudes of the dating-and-mating dance are no longer among my regular concerns. But every now and then I encounter a story that makes me think. “Think what?” I hear you ask. Well, it might be something along …
Dec 21 2023
How Much Worse Could It Get?
In reflecting on the piece below, it struck me that today’s federal government has become so thoroughly corrupt – so anti-American — that I’d be hard pressed to name a government anywhere or anywhen that compares unfavorably to it. And as usual when I’m only half awake, that started a fresh train of half-facetious …
Dec 07 2023
This Wins The Internet For Today
There are 13 minerals that are essential for human life, and all of them can be found in Wine. Coincidence? I Think Not! — Diogenes Sarcastica Applause, Diogenes, you tall, brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning placental mammal, you. But then, others have expressed that sentiment as well: “An ancient writer said …
Nov 22 2023
A Little Pre-Thanksgiving Silliness
I’m no longer allowed, for the sake of my health, to eat my way into a coma. That makes the annual Thanksgiving Day dinner a bittersweet event: all those goodies, and I’m allowed perhaps a tablespoonful of each! But I have my memories of Thanksgiving feasts in bygone years. They must suffice. But …
Nov 21 2023
Why Don’t We Have Soccer Riots?
Well, there are at least two reasons: There aren’t that many fanatic soccer fans in the United States; So we have Black Friday instead. “But why,” I hear you ask, “don’t the British have Black Friday?” The C.S.O. maintains that most of their energies are dispersed in soccer riots. (The rest go to …
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