Haven’t had one of these in a while, have we? CSO: Owww! FWP: What’s the matter, Sweetie? CSO:The water just got too hot, that’s all. FWP: Well, then that was the wrong noise! CSO: Hm? FWP: “Owww!” is the wrong noise for too-hot water. You’re supposed to say “Aieee!” CSO: Are you feeling all …
Category: humor
Sep 09 2023
Wherefor Art Thou, AI?
Some brilliant people have invested entire careers in the investigation of whether true artificial intelligence (AI) is possible. The claims have been many…as have the disappointments. Today we see programs such as ChatGPT proposed for the role. Some of them have impressed legions of non-technologists. We the Geeks and Nerds can peek behind the …
Sep 06 2023
This “I Identify As” Crap Must Be Stopped Now!
It’s already gone too far: Coast Guard officials arrested a Florida man after they intercepted his unusual hamster wheel contraption that he was allegedly attempting to ‘run’ to London. According to a criminal complaint, 44-year-old Reza Baluchi is facing federal charges after he was rescued 70 miles off Tybee Island, Georgia by …
Jul 29 2023
Not my favorite quote from W.C. Fields
My favorite is actually “Who is the despicable scoundrel who has stolen the cork from my lunch!” But then, I’m Irish and Italian mixed with Viking, so a little drink has never quite been enough.
Jul 20 2023
Mary Celeste, Where Are You?
This incident is enough to make anyone wonder: LYNCHBURG, Va. (WSET) — A man in Virginia had a not-so-average trip to Waffle House recently. He went there to grab a bite to eat, but when he went inside there was no one to be found. William Davis woke up hungry and drove …
Jul 15 2023
“Would You Like Strawberry Milk With That, Sir?”
You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll fall down. It will change your life: By mixing the perfect combination of traditional and digital marketing tactics, along with the collaborative efforts of our team, we were able to execute a prank on a friend that would be remembered for years. And this is how we …
Jul 08 2023
This Wins The Internet For Today
Way back when I was young and feckless, I and a few others of like disposition would fritter away our free time concocting headlines and cover images for such august publications as The Weekly World News and The Star. Much time has passed, and I remember few of those compositions, but what sticks in …
Jun 26 2023
Critics Circle…And Pounce
Despite my general disdain for the professional critic [“Those who criticize the most are the ones who create nothing.” – Helmut Schoeck] I must admit to a soft spot for acerbic reviewers with a creative flair for the English language. The following, taken from this review of a Guns ‘n’ Roses performance, tickled me …
May 19 2023
The Perils Of Poor Enunciation
I must admit that I haven’t always liked my given name. One of the reasons I have it is (ulp) my paternal grandmother, an Italian immigrant whose name was Francesca. Another is that I was born in Saint Francis Xavier Hospital in the Bronx. It’s a rather off-putting thing to be named after a …
Apr 29 2023
Breadth Of Vision
He who decides to involve himself in politics, but without personal aspirations to public office, will often have a single motivating issue in mind. This is commonplace today, when so many subjects of public discourse are of intense interest to some but little or none to others. I’ve known several bright and articulate folks …
Apr 26 2023
The Really Important News Of The Day
We have it from the very top: WH press sec: "This week is Lesbian Visibility Week, and as the first openly queer person to hold the position of press secretary for the President of the United States, I see every day how important visibility and representation are." pic.twitter.com/ZDqtHz3I9i — The Post Millennial (@TPostMillennial) April …
Apr 14 2023
Signs Of The Apocalypse
Some see them everywhere. Myself, I seem to breed them. Like most Catholics, I have a couple of crucifixes in my home: the oft-celebrated Fortress of Crankitude. I also keep a supply of holy water in a decorative bottle. (Hey, you never know when you might have to repel a vampire, so suspenders …
Mar 30 2023
A Festival Of Representation
“Representation” – more specifically, statistical under or over-representation in various domains – is one of today’s major bugaboos. We all hear about aspects of this now and then, such as how women are “under-represented” in CEOs’ offices and corporate boardrooms, or blacks are “over-represented” among perpetrators of violent crimes. There’s often a lot of …
Mar 13 2023
The Last Of The Absolute Monarchs
I’m a longtime baseball fan. I’ve loved the game from the very first pitch I ever saw – and let me tell you, that was some consequential pitch: it was the gopher ball Yankees’ pitcher Ralph Terry threw to Pirates’ second baseman Bill Mazeroski in the bottom of the ninth inning of the seventh …
Mar 08 2023
For Those Who Are Dubious About AI
…have a look at this article: ChatGPT is a fancy auto-complete: what it does is finding the most likely continuation of text for the text it has already printed out (or as a reply for the prompt, when it is starting printing stuff out), according to the large corpus of text it has …
Mar 03 2023
Conversations
I won’t speak for you, but I know I could use a little levity these days. Compliments of the C.S.O., I had one a little earlier. Because she’s still recovering from her recent operation and is medically forbidden to do…well, anything but sit, read, and watch the Idiot Box (damn good thing she …
Mar 01 2023
From Cynicism To Sarcasm: Progress Or Regress?
The Diogenes of history — i.e., “the one with the lamp” – was known as The Cynic, for good and sufficient reasons: Diogenes of Sinope was a controversial figure. His father minted coins for a living, and when Diogenes took to debasement of currency, he was banished from Sinope. After being exiled, he …
Fran’s Recent Novels
Margaret’s Recent Novels
