English contains a wealth of what are colloquially called synonyms but really aren’t. Unfortunately, people who aren’t alert to subtle differences between the actual meanings of words will frequently select the wrong one for their purpose. One of the commonest cases involves the words honesty and candor. These frequently interchanged words are not really …
Category: humor
Apr 19 2025
Things You Definitely Didn’t Need To Know
This comes from my favorite tall but brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning example of a placental mammal: Did you know you can mail potatoes without a container? This delightful information comes from the USPS’s Postal Facts page. As with coconuts, one may mail potatoes simply by writing the destination on the potato, …
Apr 11 2025
City Dwellers Baffle Me
I’m a rural / suburban guy by choice. Large numbers of people densely packed together – hint: it’s not to keep them “fresh” – frighten me. I question their sanity along with their sanitation. To make my befuddlement worse, now and then a story like this one will come along: Humanity is sick of …
Apr 10 2025
Adaptability: Mankind’s Trump Card
If you remember the 1993 movie… wait: 1993? It was that long ago? Whoo! Well, anyway, if you remember the movie Demolition Man, it put Sylvester Stallone, of all people, into a future that was, let us say, unappetizing from the perspective of a freedom lover. But it was an upbeat movie with a …
Apr 03 2025
Maybe We Don’t Really Have To Worry
The “large language models” currently represented to the public as “artificial intelligences” (AIs) are in point of fact no such thing. They contain huge databases of words, phrases, and relations among them, from which they “reason.” But actual reasoning, while it does require a large collection of symbols and relations among them, is not …
Mar 19 2025
Conversations
Mine is a rather silly household: CSO: What’s your plan for today? FWP: Plan a Wednesday? Naah. They’re too easy. Now Fridays, those I have to plan. CSO: When do you do that? Late Thursday? FWP: No, Friday morning, the moment I get out of bed. CSO: Sounds risky, doing that before you’ve had …
Mar 19 2025
The Awesome Power Of Cheese
I like cheese. Quite a lot, actually. I eat cheese virtually every day. And not just a few common varieties, mind you; over the course of a calendar year, I chow down on the cheeses of many nations. But until Scampydog at AoSHQ sent me to this story, I’d never truly appreciated cheese’s potentials …
Mar 17 2025
Tis the high and holy feast day of St. Patrick
When I was stationed in Lost Angeles, my bishop there had spent many of his formative years in Ireland with his family. He didn’t have an accent, but there were vocal tells. He would always say that someone was “at hospital”, not “in the hospital”, and every time he said the word Saint, it would …
Mar 06 2025
An Outlier’s Solution To Ukraine
The following was re-posted at FB, I do not have a link to the original source. But the very outrageousness of some of the suggestions at least provides some humor while, at the same time, actually provides some seeds for suggestions. Mike Kupari @RocketPulpHack I have a bold proposal for the Ukraine situation, a grand …
Mar 05 2025
Watch The Curate, He’s Up To Something!
The C.S.O. just forwarded me this, which had me in stitches. My favorite bit: You’d Rather Go Skydiving Than Take Your Chances at A Village Fete. Sure, skydiving has risks, but at least the odds of murder are low. Village fetes, on the other hand, are absolute death traps. Someone will be …
Feb 16 2025
“Every Sperm Is Sacred, Every Sperm Is Good…”
Fear not, Gentle Reader. I come to bury the Ohio Conception Begins at Erection Act, not to praise it. When a couple of humorless “abortion uber alles” Democrats get up on their horses and propose a bill like this, even in jest, the laughs must flow! As a general rule, the overarching subject …
Feb 12 2025
Scoop!
If the Internet has a more valuable voice than the Babylon Bee: Sauron-Appointed Judge Rules Frodo Must Return Ring To Sauron https://t.co/EeUo2Qs8zv pic.twitter.com/vxQhYaxFqU — The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) February 11, 2025 …I can’t name it. These folks are keeping the fine art of satire alive single-handedly. Bravo, BB!
Feb 09 2025
Quote Of The Day
Today’s immortal utterance came just a few minutes ago from the C.S.O., better known (in some circles, anyway) as my beloved wife Beth. But first, a little context. Just in case you’ve been in a coma for last 365 days, today is Super Bowl Sunday. (I almost typed “Super Bowel Sunday,” in a …
Jan 09 2025
A Contentious Proposal
“In times of economic uncertainty, never ever fuck with another man’s livelihood.” — Joe Pantoliano as “Guido,” in Risky Business It seems that a Constitutional amendment that would put term limits on federal legislators has been proposed by Senator Ted Cruz and Congressman Ralph Norman. While I heartily approve of this proposed amendment …
Dec 31 2024
Solved At Last!
I’m sure it will thrill the Gentle Readers of Liberty’s Torch to read that your Chief Content Provider, by dint of fearless and untiring research, has at long last penetrated to the flaccid heart of America’s socioeconomic problems. Yes, friends, relations, and assorted creditors, I have finally figured out what’s been going on. And …
Dec 13 2024
Conversations
Yes, we here at the Fortress of Crankitude are oeniacs. Unblushing lovers of the grape and its bounties. Properly fermented, of course: say, for about an hour and a half. That does give rise to some interesting conversations: FWP: It’s time to order another case of Seyval Chardonnay. CSO: Is that a screw-top? FWP: …
Nov 17 2024
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up Dept.
If you occasionally find yourself thinking, of some government official, “He’s nuttier than a fruitcake,” have a bite of this: is actually seeking treatment for her phobia of bananas, and government staff has to sweep rooms before official visits on ‘health grounds.’ The Telegraph reported: “Paulina Brandberg, the Swedish minister for …
Nov 16 2024
I Can’t Stop Laughing…
…and you won’t either, if you watch to the end: Wait for it, surprise ending.pic.twitter.com/Yd9i0rlDXr — Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) November 15, 2024 Shamelessly stolen from my hero David De Gerolamo.
Nov 07 2024
Pet Gripes
Now that a second Trump presidency is in prospect – and with Republican majorities in both houses of Congress, at that – everyone and his halfwit Uncle Herman is stepping forward with agenda items for the new administration. Quite a few are “old favorites” with broad appeal: cut taxes; reduce federal spending; return to …
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