TITS Up!

     Here we are: Gaudete Sunday, when Advent transforms from a season of spiritual preparation to an anticipation of joy. We’ve been here before, we Christians. We know the Savior is coming. We know that He will be born of a virgin in a rude stable, placed in repose in a manger surrounded by animals; that three wise men, Zoroastrian mages from Persia, will arrive to present Him with gifts fit for the King of Kings and the Priest of Priests; and that Herod, the king of Judea under the Roman military occupation, will strive to kill Him by slaughtering every newborn in Bethlehem. We know that His birth will be announced to a small group of shepherds by a chorus of angels. And we know for what mission He was born into mortal flesh.

     How could we not be filled with joy at such a Divine gift? Well, believe it or not, there are…persons who hate the whole idea and hate you for celebrating it:

     You’re allowed to be single, sad, or shoeless on Christmas, but God forbid you’re a hater. As someone who dreads this holiday, I know this to be true. A deluge of books, movies, and music has words for people like me—Scrooge, Grinch, Hans Gruber. In most cases, these people exist to perform as the trauma-addled heel to the happy-go-holiday-lucky protagonist. Their destiny? Either succumb to the Christmas spirit, or be reviled by generations. The anti-Christmas contingent is anything but derivative, and yet we’re treated as such because admitting to disliking this holiday—in all of its pomp and capitalistic circumstance—is silly, strange, and frankly, un-American. And rather than allow us to hate in peace, we’re reduced to a mawkish origin story.

     The author, Audra Heinrichs, is apparently a lapsed Catholic, an apostate. She’s also about as sour as I could have imagined anyone could be about the celebration of a completely joyous event. But she knows someone who’s sourer yet:

     “I mean, I hate Christmas,” Dr. Sarah Gundle confided less than two minutes into our phone interview. This isn’t the first time that Gundle, a New York-based clinical psychologist specializing in break-ups, trauma, family conflict and the like, has spoken about why certain people struggle with all things manufactured to be holly jolly. For her, it’s personal: Gundle is a Jewish woman doing her best to co-parent a child with a man who isn’t. Under her roof, the daughter she shares with her ex celebrates Hanukkah. Under his, well, it’s full-throttle to the North Pole.

     “It’s really hard to avoid the sparkliness and the kind of seduction of Christmas,” she explained. “I find that just as a Jewish parent, the boundaries have to be laid very clearly that we don’t celebrate Christmas because otherwise, the whole world is celebrating something that just ends up bleeding into [my household]. It’s hard to not hate that thing that gets in the way of raising your kids with a Jewish identity.”

     Hm. A Jewish woman who hates Christmas. Well, there are probably others. However, I’d warrant that you’d have to look long and hard to find one that:

• Is a clinical psychologist;
• Who specializes in “break-ups, trauma, family conflict and the like;”
• Is filled with hatred for Christmas;
• Is divorced from a non-Jew who loves and celebrates Christmas;
• And strives to transmit her hatred to her daughter and ex-husband.

     That’s a quinella-plus. Heinrichs must have been overjoyed to stumble upon her.

     It’s also excellent kindling for a Curmudgeonly tirade.

     C. S. Lewis once referred to demons as “those who have not joy.” I’m sure it is so, for their condemned state forbids them the emotion. A living man is not a demon, though if properly oriented he can become the vessel for one. Such a man might not even realize that the course of his life is taking him in that direction. I penned a short story about a young man who was heading that way.

     Christian faith is inherently a joyous thing. It glories in the great generosity of God, who sent His only begotten Son to redeem us from our sins and open the gates of heaven to us. The prospect of eternal bliss in the nearness of a loving God could hardly be anything but joyous. The conviction that this prospect is real and achievable is indivisible from the joy it inspires.

     So those who have not joy must destroy it and all its manifestations. And they are relentless in their employment of their human vessels and vessels-to-be in doing so.

     If we needed more evidence than the strictly political that the Left is animated by all-consuming hatred – that it yearns to see all of us conscripted into the ranks of those who have not joy – their animosity toward Christmas would surely suffice.

     Merely secularizing the holiday, separating it in externals from the celebration of the Nativity of Christ, does not suffice. The joy of the occasion remains, even if it’s expressed in ways that have little to nothing to do with the arrival of the Redeemer. The occasion itself must be denigrated, condemned, and expelled from the minds of men:

• “Christmas? That’s just a marketing ploy. Don’t be sucked into the madness!”
• “It’s really just an old pagan feast updated with a new myth.”
• “Just be good for goodness’ sake.”
• “How can you celebrate when there are ghetto dwellers who can’t afford Xboxes?”
• “Vulgar commercialism! Just think of all the hungry people that money could feed.”

     Finally we get to the raw hatred of people like Audra Heinrichs and Sarah Gundle. The latter’s Jewishness is incidental, though Heinrichs found it rhetorically useful. Inter-faith animosity is always useful to those who have not joy.

     You’re probably wondering about the title of this piece. It’s an acronym that expresses the core principle that can be found in every sally from those who have not joy:

     Remove the gladness from the thing. Emphasize every imaginable non-joyful peripheral and externality. Weigh in upon the reader or listener with all manner of reasons to hate: the occasion, the celebrants, their accoutrements, and themselves for having been “played.” Transform the joyous Christian celebration into a sour-bitter lump of offal that doesn’t even deserve a place in the gutter. And by all means scoff at any and every mention of God or His Son.

     Give them credit: they work hard at it. During the Christmas season, their TITS are most definitely up.

     Those who have not joy do have a “positive” agenda. At least, it’s positive to them. They want you dead and in Hell. The expulsion of joy from your mind and heart is preparation for your expulsion into their eternal clutches.

     It’s not a pleasant notion, but then, neither are the tirades of such as Audra Heinrichs and Sarah Gundle. Take note of them, Gentle Reader. It might profit nothing to ask them “What’s your angle?” Those who have not joy seldom give a straight answer to such a question. But asking yourself “What’s their angle?” is eminently worth doing. If you can stand a brushing contact with all that hatred, anyway.

     Rejoice and be glad. Christmas is on the way. And may God bless and keep you all!