I Don’t Think I Can Go On…

     …after this:

     The folks in the Mountain Dew R&D department didn’t overthink this one at all.

     It feels like someone said, “What if we packaged hot dogs in Mountain Dew? Like we just dump Mountain Dew in the bag and slap a label on them. At the very least, stoners would probably buy them Hell, we can call them Dew Wieners.”

     Eventually, someone else amended the name to “Dew Dogs” and now packs of glizzies with a radioactive glow can be picked up at your local supermarket.

     If there’s anyone out there who can look at that picture and sincerely say that there’s intelligent life on Earth, he and I need to have a sit-down over a fresh bottle of Jameson’s.

     Will someone please perfect space flight and find a planet far away that will support human life? Broadband Internet access is desirable but not required. I’ve just checked with my pastor, and as far as he knows, suicide is still a mortal sin.


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    • jwm on July 28, 2023 at 6:44 AM

    No self-respecting stoner would be caught dead eatin’ a green weenie. I’d refer these to the Dylan Mulvaney fan club. No doubt they’ll find a use for them.
    JW (a little nauseous) M

  1. I don’t know who the market is for those things, but when I find out who they are, I’m going to avoid them like the plague. At least the color of both the package and the product make them easy to identify for future avoidance.

    • Amy on July 28, 2023 at 12:02 PM

    Food crimes are real, and we need a police force to stop them.

    1. I wouldn’t bet against that being the latest collusion for gloming onto more power.

    • neomunitor on July 29, 2023 at 6:56 AM

    These are fake, and the person who did them does a lot of other fake foods. 

    1. That’s okay. Fake things often teach us things that real things omit to mention.

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