Some Common-Sense Thinking on Privilege…

…and Deprivation.

I’m as guilty of stereotyping as anyone. I have carelessly and automatically characterized badly-behaved children – or, even, adults – as the product of Single Parents. Such a judgement doesn’t account for the many terrific people who were raised in such households.

But, that really is unfair – it’s not the Marriage/Not status of a parent that is the sole reason for a kid ending up with a bad life. It’s the combination of all the bad decisions/breaks in that kid’s life that lead to it.

That isn’t to say that – MOST of the time – having two biological parents in the house is a decided plus. It just makes some sense:

  • If a kid is difficult – high activity level, health problems, special ed issues – it sure does help that there is another parent to take some of the work off the shoulders of the mom.
  • Why biologic parents? Because, sometimes, the only thing that keeps that kid alive is that you have blood invested in that kid. Not mentioning any names, but the kids know what I’m talking about. If you kill that kid, there goes your investment to that point. You leave teens alive, because – aside from little considerations like jail – eventually they may provide you with grandchildren – a delightful thing called Payback.
  • Two parents, two paychecks – or, at least, childcare and household help without further cost.

But, there are many other factors involved in raising children. And, for example, if the ‘village’ in which you are raising your children is bad one, that factor, alone, may tip the scales to “Oh-Oh!”.