If you’re over the age of six, you’ve almost certainly heard someone use the phrase, “They say,” or “That’s what they say,” or “You know what they say.” (There may be other variants, but I think those will suffice.) Just this morning, the C.S.O. used one of those, which gave rise to the following exchange.

FWP: I’ve been thinking about a name change.
CSO: Hm? To what?

FWP: From “Porretto” to “They.”
CSO: (guffaws) You’re jealous of all the respect “They” get, aren’t you?

FWP: Aren’t you? How better to appropriate a little of that? From then on, whenever someone refers to what “They say,” he’ll be referring to me! There’s just one hitch.
CSO: The grammar, right?
FWP: Yeah. It would have to be changed to “That’s what They says.” I wouldn’t have it any other way.

CSO: Wait: I have an idea!
FWP: Hm?
CSO: Change your name to “They They!” Then we could be Mr. and Mrs. They They, and then both phrases would be correct!
FWP: Excuse me, but who are you and how did you get in here?

     This is what happens when a couple of lunatics try to have a conversation at 5:00 AM, before their second pot of coffee.


  1. I truly would love to meet Mrs. They – she must be a rare woman.

    1. And indeed it is so, dear Linda. Thirty years this year, and she’s never even contemplated killing me…so she says.

    • jwm on June 7, 2021 at 7:26 PM

    At home with my dear wife…

    “Hey, Mary I was checking out that on-line comic book site- the one with the crusader in the land of cat-people. In the last episode, the Demon King sent a horrible monster to kill the hero, and guess what?”

    “The hero killed the monster?”

    “Oh, you read it already?”



Comments have been disabled.