1. On the phone:
“Mr. Porretto, my name is John Smith, and I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
2. From your Significant Other:
“There’s water seeping out from under the kitchen cabinets.”
3. From anyone, anywhere:
“Say, doesn’t that guy look a lot like John McClane?
Got any favorites of your own, Gentle Readers?
2 comments
From the wife:
Surprise! My girlfriends are coming to visit for the holidays. – or- You know that I’ve been going to workout for the past few months? I wasn’t going to the gym. We need to talk.
From the unmarried daughter:
I’m pregnant.
From the dog:
(in dog) I don’t feel so good. (Then either projectile vomits everywhere, OR rolls on his side to show where he was gored by a deer in rut)
From the bank:
Your account is overdrawn.
From work:
Come in at once, there’s an emergency. – or – you’re fired. (I’d rather prefer the second)
From your car:
(Insert expensive grinding noise)
It all comes down to the same thing. YOu know that thing you were saving up for? Fuggaget about it.
Bidenomics is working