Things You Do Not Want To Hear Around Christmastime

1. On the phone:

     “Mr. Porretto, my name is John Smith, and I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

2. From your Significant Other:

     “There’s water seeping out from under the kitchen cabinets.”

3. From anyone, anywhere:

     “Say, doesn’t that guy look a lot like John McClane?

     Got any favorites of your own, Gentle Readers?


    • MrPink on December 24, 2023 at 8:26 AM

    From the wife:

    Surprise!  My girlfriends are coming to visit for the holidays. – or- You know that I’ve been going to workout for the past few months?  I wasn’t going to the gym.  We need to talk.

    From the unmarried daughter:

    I’m pregnant.

    From the dog:

    (in dog) I don’t feel so good.  (Then either projectile vomits everywhere, OR rolls on his side to show where he was gored by a deer in rut)

    From the bank:

    Your account is overdrawn.

    From work:

    Come in at once, there’s an emergency. – or – you’re fired. (I’d rather prefer the second)

    From your car:

    (Insert expensive grinding noise)

    It all comes down to the same thing.  YOu know that thing you were saving up for?  Fuggaget about it.

    • Andrew on December 24, 2023 at 8:28 AM

    Bidenomics is working

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