You might think that once we’re dead and in heaven, there are no more rules. But there’s still a need for discretion. Werner Heisenberg once said that if he got the chance, there were two questions he wanted to ask God: Why relativity? And why turbulence? They’re good questions – I’d certainly like the answers – but at the end of all things they’ll lose a little of their urgency.
However, of the questions I’d like to ask God, there are a few that I wouldn’t dare to ask…though the impulse might prove very strong. For example:
- Is there booze?
- What about chocolate?
- Do we still have to pray?
- Can priests have girlfriends now?
- Can I harass my son-in-law from here?
- Are the angels allowed to act snooty and sass us?
- My favorite singer is in hell. Can I get him a furlough?
- That business about the Deluge: where did all that water go?
- Does heaven have a shooting range? How long? What calibers are allowed?
- The harp just isn’t me. Could I have a Fender Telecaster and a Marshall amp instead?
Do you have any such?
2 comments
What about my cat?
JWM
Is there coffee?
Can my dogs be there?