Questions For God

     You might think that once we’re dead and in heaven, there are no more rules. But there’s still a need for discretion. Werner Heisenberg once said that if he got the chance, there were two questions he wanted to ask God: Why relativity? And why turbulence? They’re good questions – I’d certainly like the answers – but at the end of all things they’ll lose a little of their urgency.

     However, of the questions I’d like to ask God, there are a few that I wouldn’t dare to ask…though the impulse might prove very strong. For example:

  • Is there booze?
  • What about chocolate?
  • Do we still have to pray?
  • Can priests have girlfriends now?
  • Can I harass my son-in-law from here?
  • Are the angels allowed to act snooty and sass us?
  • My favorite singer is in hell. Can I get him a furlough?
  • That business about the Deluge: where did all that water go?
  • Does heaven have a shooting range? How long? What calibers are allowed?
  • The harp just isn’t me. Could I have a Fender Telecaster and a Marshall amp instead?

     Do you have any such?


    • jwm on March 24, 2024 at 2:56 PM

    What about my cat?



  1. Is there coffee?

    Can my dogs be there?

Comments have been disabled.