Good morning, Gentle Readers! Today is a very special day, for several reasons. For one thing, it’s Martin Luther King Jr, Day. On the third Monday of January each year, we commemorate the life and achievements of that famous icon of plagiarism and philandering that helped to make the Sixties a decade to be ashamed of. If you haven’t scheduled any plagiarism or philandering for today, there’s still time!

     Next up, there’s National Fig Newton Day. The Fig Newton, that incredible cookie-that’s-not-a-cookie, has graced American pantries since 1891. No longer simply about figs, Newtons have diversified into strawberries, apples, and peaches. Believe it or not, its original promotion to the consuming public was as a health food: a remedy for digestive problems. That never bothered me, but I suppose I’m not the typical consumer of Fig Newtons or their alternately-fruited brethren.

     And last but certainly not least, we have National Nothing Day. This wholly unique commemoration is dedicated to the American who’s worn out from all the celebrating and commemorating demanded of him on all the other days. Unfortunately, as with all truly momentous occasions, we do have our spoilsports. Gahan Wilson will tell you:

     But what of that? Get out there and enjoy your day!


  1. You have put together a well sorted micro-anthology. You filtered down to reveal how our overlords so easily achieve wide acceptance of anything and nothing. Having been forced to scroll down the Gahan Wilson cartoon before I could spot the hold-out, and scrolling further so as to finally see the punchline was quite effective.

    I do not know for sure if your presentation was designed to prompt deeper thought, but you did that for me at this early hour. Despite the fact that you write unique fiction, I hadn’t viewed you as an artist in the portrait sense until today. Could that be a product of your wry sense of humor?

    • Skid Marx on January 16, 2023 at 4:31 PM

    I propose national paper shuffling day for all indispensable apparatchiks who have saved us from ourselves with the golden workers utopia.

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