Warning!

     If you live in a small town and have some degree of prominence, it is vital to be on good terms with the editor of the town’s newspaper. This is especially important if you and he are of different faiths. The following story will give you an inkling as to why.

Father O’Malley, the Catholic pastor of a small-town parish, entered his donkey in a local charity race and, to his considerable surprise, it won. The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another charity event and it won again. But apparently, the editor of the local daily was a Baptist, owned one of the other donkeys in those races, and was incensed about being defeated twice. The next day, the front page of the local paper read:

     The diocesan bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered Father O’Malley not to enter the donkey in another race. That proved insufficient to mollify the editor. The next day, the paper’s headline read:

     This was too much for the bishop. He ordered Father O’Malley to get rid of the donkey at once. Not wanting to deprive the donkey of some connection to the Church, the unhappy priest decided to give it to Sister Mary, a nun in a nearby convent. The editor, hearing of the news, decreed the headline for the next day:

     The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey. Being obedient to her superiors in the clerical hierarchy, she sold it to a nearby farm for $10. The editor was still on the warpath, so the next day the paper’s headline read:

     This was too much for the bishop. Desperate to put a stop to such japes at the Church’s expense, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and set it free where it could run wild. But the editor was still furious. The next day, the headline read:

     The bishop was buried the next day.