How Shall I Proclaim Thee “Not All There?”

     Let me count the ways…

  • His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.
  • His bread isn’t done in the center.
  • The lights are on but nobody’s home.
  • His oil doesn’t reach the dipstick.
  • He’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
  • He’s a nugget or two short of a Happy Meal.

     What others have you encountered that charmed you? No fair using a search engine!


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  1. Room temperature IQ – in Celsius
    Not the sharpest crayon in the box
    Snuck into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t looking
    Organically stupid – i.e., dumb as dirt

    • Amy on January 20, 2023 at 12:29 PM

    A few K short of a megabyte/megs short of a gigabyte/gigs short of a terabyte (depending on the era; maybe soon we’ll see “a few ters short of a petabyte”)
    Suffering from ID-ten-T errors (i.e. “ID10T”)
    Low bandwidth

    • Elaine on January 20, 2023 at 1:25 PM

    Two bricks short of a load


    • Eric Fithian on January 21, 2023 at 6:40 AM

    Two saucers short of a tea service!

    Jim White (KMOX 1120 St Louis, MO until 1999) sometimes said that someone should be sent to “The Minnesota Home For The Tall”  —  the reference came from one of the surviving episodes of the Old-Time Radio program, “Vic and Sade.”

    Most, if not all, can be found at  Note: the shows (which were made for a 15-minute time slot) are *not* Situation Comedy, but a much rarer type: Character Comedy…  which can confuse people raised on sit-coms!

    • Bob T. on January 21, 2023 at 12:05 PM

    An enchilada short of a combination plate.

    A brain so small that if it were gasoline it couldn’t power a pissant’s motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio.

    A brain so small that if one were to place it on the sharp edge of a razor it would look like a bb on an eight-lane expressway.

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