I was reading an opinion piece about relations between young men and women, and I had a thought:
Is Social Media like a drug with women?
By comparing Social Media to drugs, I refer to the addictive nature of the experience, and the way that use of that media seems to cause personality and behavioral changes in the user.
And, should the use of that “drug” become frequent/more than an occasional dalliance, the changes may be permanent.
I’ve been weaning myself from social media; the primary reason I use any of it is:
- Keep in touch with aging friends I seldom see in person (outside of funerals).
- Same as above, but with distant family.
- For contacts with professional connections – Physics teachers, Ham Radio.
- OCCASIONALLY, use either Twitter or Truth Social to post links to posts I’ve written or a post that I’d like to promote. I’m on the fence about that 2nd one, but hate to narrow the Dissident Media to ONE outlet.
- I do use the Notes feature for Substack, but mostly use that as I fear narrowing my reach to a single potentially deplatformed outlet.
What has replaced it? Mostly text messages to close family/friends. I’m not interested in posturing for the world; I want to keep in touch with those I love.
My stress level has plummeted.
2 comments
Almost a decade ago, I was a religious ed teacher for the local church youth group. We had a retreat that was coed, and we had strict rules about using phones. There was never any kick back from the young men in the group, but the young women always wanted to be on their phones. They did comply with the rules, however grudgingly. One time, we had finished up a seminar or whatever, and they were allowed some free time. The guys just started horsing around with each other. But one girl asked if it were ok to use their phones. I said it was ok, and was amazed by the results.
Every single girl instantaneously had their phones in their hands. It was so quick it was like magic. It was like you could not even see them pull their phones out of their purse, backpack, or pocket. Like a snap of the fingers, the phones materialized in their hands, as though it was a magic trick.
I could not believe it. The guys eventually may have pulled out a phone when he saw the girls using theirs, or when their horse-play slowed down, but it was gradual, and in no way rushed.
With the girls, it was absolutely instantaneous – microseconds, and was also absolutely unanimous. Every girl, down the the last one, had their phone out immediately, no exceptions.
Somehow, considering what we see in the culture, I suspect this is worse than a drug. We’ve had drugs present in almost every culture for all of history, and for the most part, they have been self-policing.
We have never seen anything like social media, and still have no idea of its effects, ramifications, potential for abuse, nor any idea how to handle it. It is like a nuclear bomb, but a social one unconstrained by cost, access, or moral history.
Author
I do think young men need to consider this a ‘deal-breaker’. Refuse to date/engage with any woman who cannot put down her phone. BEFORE asking a girl out, check out social media – if she is making those stupid faces, trashing other girls, pontificating on topics without any regard for FACTS – DON’T.
Walk away.
Pro-family groups should look into setting up activities that have participants put their phones away. I’m thinking social events, sports teams (strictly amateur – we want people who want to engage in life in PERSON), and other ways to bring young people together.
My husband and I met, 50 years ago, in such a group of Catholic Young Adults. This was pre-cell days, when we couldn’t isolate ourselves on the phone. It forced even the most socially awkward of us to learn to interact (which we did by watching others do so).
Social competency is a learned skill. You get better with practice. It helps to have physical activities (not THAT – get your mind out of the gutter) to focus on – bowling, pickleball, cultural events, dancing – the possibilities are endless.
Parents need to work to set up sports teams that eject people – audience or participant – who whip out phones. This should be standard. If a parent has a health situation in their family, they should be given a pager to use for the game/practice, so they can exit and deal with the situation – OFF the field/out of the bleachers. All other technology should be left in the car.
That, alone, would do much to reduce the drama and craziness of kid sports.