Category: humor

Conversations

     This one just took place: FWP: Say, is Jamie Lee Curtis related to Tony Curtis? [spoiler alert: she’s his daughter] CSO: Why do you expect me to know? FWP: You’re the one who reads Entertainment Weekly. CSO: That subscription was by mistake! FWP: Yeah yeah, but you read it anyway. CSO: I don’t know. …

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Culinary Customs

     Kenny “Wirecutter” Lane has a brief tale for us:      My ex-wife slopped [mayonnaise] on everything. We went through more mayonnaise in a month than I did in a year before I met her.      About the only thing I’ll use it on is a ham or bologna sandwich, but she’d slather it on …

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War Of The Cablecasters

     If you don’t watch Tucker Carlson’s nightly “openings,” you’re missing some of the best and most entertaining commentary available:      Ridicule, Alinsky tells us, is the unanswerable weapon. Ridicule of a self-described comedian who no longer even tries to be funny – the last time Stephen Colbert even made an attempt at humor was …

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For Fathers’ Day: The Husband Shop

     It was a new establishment. Jane had only heard about it, but at the conclusion of her Saturday bachelorette’s shopping for the week, she decided to give it a look. After all, at age thirty a woman’s prospects have thinned considerably. It wasn’t that she could hear the biological clock ticking, but she was …

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A Sign That I’ve Been Reading Too Many Gun Websites

     …arose from the graphic below, which I encountered at 90 Miles From Tyranny:      Upon reading which I immediately thought “Does Fabrique Nationale make morons too? In what calibers?”      These early mornings…sigh.

What I Will And What I Won’t

     [As I’m in a fey mood (“Again?” I hear you mutter), and have had to delete a rather large number of unacceptable comments recently, I thought I’d repost this piece from Liberty’s Torch V1.0, which appeared there on April 3, 2016 – FWP] ***      “Anonymous,” that lovable rogue we all know so well, …

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A Quick Morning Giggle

     Not long ago, I stumbled over the following bit of cartoon genius:      ‘Fess up, now: isn’t that just too plausible to dismiss out of hand? I mean, one of my cats sits atop my router several hours per day. And the trucks and the boxes keep arriving. More than coincidence?      But just …

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The Suburban Horror

     Homeowners know it well. At least, they do in the moist and temperate Northeastern United States. Each of us who opts for the privacy, space, and comfort of a single-family home must cope with it. The more spacious your domain, the more burdensome it is.      No, it’s not the traffic, nor the property …

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I Know, I Know

     I really shouldn’t…but it got me laughing so hard I hurt myself:      Applause to Kenny “Wirecutter” Lane.

Celebrate Their Achievements! (UPDATED)

     I’ve come slowly but firmly to the conviction that, while our political class is generally vile, nevertheless its members display certain talents for which they should receive the credit due them. Some of those talents are demonstrably world-class. Consider, for example, the ability of the underappreciated Kamala Harris to speak at length, and entirely …

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Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

     This definitely wins the Internet for today:      I’m going to go out on a limb and say that global nuclear fallout is slightly worse for the environment than drilling our own oil.      (A comment to this Daily Wire piece about Biden and the looming importance of the 25th Amendment.)

Snark Level: World Championship Contender

     This (found at 90 Miles From Tyranny)) requires no comment from me:      I do find it “cute” and “heartwarming,” though. (Did Mommy Tank ever get Junior back on his treads?)

The Wide World Of Pranks

     We’ve all heard about them. Some of us have perpetrated them. The easier and more common ones – filling someone’s bedroom with Styrofoam® peanuts, or turning every item in his room upside-down – have lost their humor value through overuse and are merely irritating. But there are still a few that can tickle one…as …

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Fun As A Sociopolitical Weapon (UPDATED)

     Good morning, and Happy Pi Day, to all my Gentle Readers. It comes but once a year, so make the best of it. Do something round. Do something irrational. Perhaps – if you can work it out – do something Eulerian: eiπ + 1 = 0      And do it loud!      Now, on …

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Conversations

FWP: [pouring his third cup of the morning] Thank You, God for coffee, the chemical without which modern life would be impossible….You know, that’s one of the great mysteries of human history. CSO: Hm? What do you mean? FWP: Well, the coffee plant is native to South America, right? CSO: Yeah… FWP: And Europeans didn’t …

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Curmudgeonry In A Nutshell

     [As I’m coming off an unsatisfactory book giveaway, and the question “Why do you style yourself a curmudgeon?” has been asked afresh, I shall give myself an easy day by reposting this exegesis, which first appeared at Liberty’s Torch V1.0 in March of 2020 — FWP] ***      Long time Gentle Readers are aware …

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There Have Been Days…

     …when an image I encountered by chance has infiltrated my thought processes and refused to budge. Those Gentle Readers who remember this short story will know how that can affect me.      Well, today, courtesy of Knuckledraggin’ My Life Away, we have another such image:      …and it has compelled me to recycle an …

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Conversations

     Ours is a “mixed” household: One (1) Catholic husband (me); One (1) agnostic-Jewish wife (Beth, a.k.a. the C. S. O.); Three dogs (Sophie, Precious, and Joy); Four cats (Uriel, Fluffy, Chloe, and Zoe).      (The cats sacrifice to Bastet. I have no idea whom the dogs worship. Possibly Dick Van Patten.)      The consequences …

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Ultra-Quickies: Conical Pizza?

     I sometimes lament my memory. It’s too good; it forces me to remember things I’d rather forget. But then something like this comes along:      A lot of people like to make rules around what pizza is and isn’t. From where a pizza is made to what toppings are on it, a pizza can …

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Alert! Alert!

     They killed him! The wisest man on Earth, a godlike being with superior intelligence who has absolute evidence and proof of his theory. He could not have expired from any natural cause. He’s been taken from us by the Worldwide Single-Day-Time Conspiracy!      To gauge the immeasurable height, width, and depth of what we …

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